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Monday, February 21, 2005

Story: Kirby's Tail

Some men have dogs. Some men have salt water fish. My boyfriend has a pot belly pig. I found this to be interesting, even funny when he put his snout to the phone or sent me a picture of what looked like a surreal animal by the pool or laying on the kitchen floor.

All of this was great in a long distance relationship. All of this was great until my boyfriend became my fiancé and it was moving in time.

I had never seen a pot belly in person. And I am ashamed to admit that before I met Kirby I went so far as to look up the life expectancy of pot bellies on the internet. I was terrified and didn't know how to handle one. Not realizing how ignorant I was.

I politely smiled and looked at him from several paces away with bewildered curiosity. It just seemed so strange. Then again so did a kayak in the middle of the living room in place of a couch.

The excitement of starting a life together mixed with the quirks of a man, his pot belly, and yellow Labrador left little room for boredom. I slowly tried to take it all in from a distance.

Then one morning as I came out of the shower Kirby was in the bathroom door staring at me. At least I think he was staring. I tried to make out his eyes as I modestly reached for a towel. My fiancé was out walking the dog, so it was just me and him.

If I wasn't mistaken there seemed to be a smirk on his face which said, "What are you doing here?"

When I first met Kirby I tried to get close to him and must have scared him because he snapped at my legs. Obviously he didn't like me and now it was just the two of us.

I was too scared to ask him to leave so I just turned to the mirror and whistled to myself hoping that he would get bored and meander into another room. But he didn't, he just stared.

Then as I began to put lotion on my legs he advanced. To my surprise he snorted my legs which both tickled and knocked me to the floor. As it turned out Kirby was a fan of lotions, scented candles, and lavender oil. How could I resist such exquisite taste? We bonded.

Now I give him lavender massages and he snuggles me like a hot water bottle which is a God send for cramps and the thermostat wars that go on in the house.

I didn't realize how intelligent, warm, and loving these beautiful creatures are. His ears also feel like velvet.

We use diapers instead of a litter box and I nearly fell out of the chair one day when I saw Kirby pick up a diaper with his mouth, place it on the floor and then pee on it. Contrary to many myths our yellow lab Dakota absolutely adores him and protects him like a little brother. Of course they're both still young so they chase each other around the house like two year olds and the other day Kirby's snout put a hole in the wall. But I find that lots of love and lavender keep us all happy.

By Shaunte Shayde