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Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Story: Feeding Time At Janet's Place

A True Pig Story by Meri Martin

Just wanted to let everyone know about Janet's pigs....they are all liars, cheats, and sneaks!! It's the truth!!! Janet sent me out to feed night before last......all by myself. She's told me for months that every pig knows where it belongs and will go right into it's pen and wait to be fed.
Yeah, right!!!

They must have all had a collective mind far* the other night. It had to be them as I'm sure I left my "I am a sucker" sign in my house under Jimmy's careful watch. So, I go out with great expectations that everyone will cooperate like Janet said they would.

Matilda was cool, and the Babes....everything okay so far. On to the front pen with 6 pigs in it.....someone forgot how to count.  LOL Ten pigs crowded around the trough. At this point I'm not even sure any of them belonged in there! With the help of the pen police, Buddy BadAss, we got that pen all worked out. Of course by then Matilda was done with her dinner and looking for more. I'm trying to latch the gate while she's trying to move it out of the way. But we got through it.

Then, I figure by this time everyone else is in their proper places and I can begin feeding in earnest. I couldn't have been more incorrect!! I found 10 pigs, 4 chickens, and 3 peacocks where there's supposed to be 4 pigs. I look outside the pen and realize 2 of the pigs who belong here are out there staring in.

So, we finally got all of that straightened out and off to the next pen. Nine bowls mean 8 pigs. Did you know pigs can't count???? There were at least 2 pigs for every bowl plus some wanderers. Pen police helped me out here too-sorta. LOL

By the time I got to the last pen, I turned around to see I had several pigs with me who had been following me around eating everybody else's food and having a great time doing it. Sausage, the pig with 5" long legs was there, so was Blue Eyes and deaf Billie Jean and they were all using their "disabilities" to selfish purposes.

I looked at Sausage who was running from bowl to bowl and I said "I thought you got fed in the barn because you had a hard time traveling up and down the stairs?" She just looked at me like "Yeah, don't give my little secret away, okay?" Blue Eyes was staying in the shadows as I'm sure her light colored eyes are very light sensitive... yeah right! She was hiding so I wouldn't notice she'd eaten in every pen so far!

Billie Jean: "Oh, did I step on your foot and break your toes trying to get to that dish of food??? I'm deaf so I just didn't hear your blood curdling scream. You know, my loss of hearing is due to a nutritional imbalance, so the more you give me the better my hearing may become. Of course there's only a .000000000000000000001% chance of that happening but, hey, let's try it, okay????"

By the time I got up to Janet's house two hours had gone by and my boys hadn't even been fed yet!!! Janet greets me with "Did everyone get fed?" All I could say is I think so, I hope so, I'm not sure. I'm going to bed now, night." LOL What a night that was!!!!

Looking back, I realize everyone of them except Winston (he doesn't associate with pigs, is NOT a pig, and how dare you feed me pig chow!) are liars, cheats, and sneaks.....double dippers!!!! They didn't care who's food they ate as long as it wasn't there's and that they got theirs too! They acted like a bunch of pigs!

Meri, who hopes tonight will go a bit smoother – Janet made me a map!!!!